Many parents believe that honesty is the best policy but apparently that's not always true when it comes to their children. A new study suggests that parents lie to their children a lot more often than they realize.
Anchorage psychologist Susan Lagrande says she, for one, is not so surprised.
"We get short of time or we want them to be happy so we'll tell a little fib," says Lagrande.
The study looked at how often parents lie to influence their children's behavior or to make them feel better and even parents who claimed to value honesty admitted doing it. What they lie about ranged from topics like encouraging a belief in Santa to more serious subjects that young children might find tough to handle.
One Anchorage dad says topics like deaths in the family are particularly hard for young children. He says he and his wife try to tell their kids the truth as often as possible but will continue to lie about some things until their children are old enough to understand.
Lagrande says parents need to decide for themselves what they feel comfortable with but she says, there are plenty of opportunities for parents to resist a quick lie. She says some of those situations can be turned into an opportunity to start a conversation with your child.
"So if a kid brings you a drawing and it has a green sun instead of saying oh yick in your mind but telling the child what a pretty picture, I think it's a better idea to say well that's kind of cool, how come you
Lagrande says most white lies won't do a child long term damage but parents should bear in mind that doing it too often could breach a child's trust.
"I think our job is to have our children trust us so that when we make a point to them that's important to us about our values or beliefs, they'll believe us," says Lagrande. "After all children do learn by example and that's something parents shouldn't forget."
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