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Caring for Your ParentsThe first in a series looking at taking care of Alaska's aging populationIt all comes down to risks… risks such as falling and not being found right away. Falls are the leading cause of fatal injuries among seniors, but some would rather live with those risks than give up their independence. “I think as children, the most difficult thing and I know this for me is allowing my parents to have those risks. But they are adults and unless they are incapacitated, people can make their own decisions about how much risk they want to take and how they can maintain their independence,” said Meyer from the city’s Health and Human Services department. “[It’s part of our] lifestyle and culture in Alaska,” said Wawrzonek. “We are independent spirits. When you take pioneers who have really built this state and say you will get up at this time, eat at this time and this is what you are going to eat because I am choosing it for you. It makes it really difficult.” To lessen that difficulty, you need to start having those conversations now. “None of us know when something is going to happen,” Meyer said. “And we can’t make a decision for ourselves. Who do we trust to make that decision? Being very thoughtful about that. It’s not always simple to have my daughter do it or have my son do it. You need to be very thoughtful about that.” Alaska’s Adult Protective Services and Long Term Care Ombudsman’s office are seeing a large increase in senior abuse and neglect cases: an increase of 333 percent over the last six years. But sometimes it can be unintentional. “Unfortunately, there are families out there that abuse… neglect… exploit. But there are also families that maybe just didn’t know what they were doing would raise a red flag, or they get worried that mom is stealing from them. Doesn’t mean they are. Just means that to the wrong person, it could get reported,” Wawrzonek said. “One of the things we can do as a community is to be educating everyone,” said Meyer. “From the hairdresser to the bank teller to the mailman to those signs to tell everyone that ‘wow, that’s a yellow flag. I need to check this out.’” That means checking things out while trying to respect the independence and freedom of choice of those that paved the way for us. Join us each week on CBS 11 News and ktva.com as we take a look at the challenges and opportunities facing our seniors and how their care is falling on the shoulders of their children. For more information on text KTVAAGING to 28201. |
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Anonymous said on Thursday, Oct 4 at 4:57 PM
and ask that college kid to hire a computer tech kid to install cameras and you can see how ma and or pa are doing while you are at work
103297012caring for ma and pa said on Wednesday, Oct 3 at 11:47 PM
when that occurs the elders go into the stage of infancy at the end stage and that is the best time to hold them and the maternal feelings will mix... the traditions of most peoples is to be family all you life...not take off at 18 and send a postcard...we are coming full circle back around to what is normal for the elders and how to care for them...children are maternal and want to be burdened or a watchdog to who is caring for their folks...good...but don't fall into the trap of putting them in a home...hire out...college students nursing majors in peticular are good to hire...background checks are 20 bucks and FBI fingerprint checks are 25 bucks...and when that is taken care of...you can go to work...come home to dinner made...house clean and ma or pa happy! Cheaper, better, and most providers can come in to see ma or pa and caretaker and get a report...
103231666Wes Craske said on Tuesday, Oct 2 at 5:37 PM
Less than a year after my dad retired, he came down with prostate cancer. After a period of 5 years, the cancer spread to his lymphatic system. I would spend a few months a year with him and my mom in Oregon where they re-located. Rather than looking at the situation as being a horrible imposition, I thought of the process as valuable time and made the best of it. After my dad's death in 1999, I filled the same role with my mom. She would call out of the blue and ask me to fly down to Oregon and drive her to Mariner's games at Safeco Field--a sport we each loved. I will always treasure this time I had with my parents. Because of their friends and me, they were able to stay in their lovely coastal home. I took several lessons from the experiences: We are now planning our final home. It will have large door frames, walk-in showers, single story construction, and be made of materials that will outlast my wife and me. At the same time, while we don't wish to burden our children.
103147136Ben Olsen said on Tuesday, Oct 2 at 11:50 AM
I have both of my parents living with me,the great thing is they make great watchdogs for the house.At 85 and 81 it is getting hard for them to get aroung even thou they do get out quite a bit,but they are getting old.Neither one can really walk very far with out becoming very tired and still want to do thins that they wish they could do.My Dad loves to ride my lawn tractor and cut the lawn but that I see is getting to him.
103129615KTVA said on Tuesday, Oct 2 at 11:38 AM
Thanks Debi for sharing your story! We would love to talk to you. Pls email the producer of this series MJ Thim @ mjthim@ktva.com
103128935Debi James said on Tuesday, Oct 2 at 10:40 AM
My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers at age 80 and came to live with me when he was 83. His second wife refused to care for him. It was not in my lifeplans, and it was a very hard transition for both of us at first. He did not understand why he could not live in his home with his wife, he would pack his suitcase every night to go home. It was heartbreaking. However, he soon forgot he was married, or had a home in CA and began to enjoy his life with me in Alaska. My husband worked nights and cared for dad during the day, I worked in the day and cared for my dad at night. It was hard, but as soon as I thought about how my dad would do anything he could for me in my child, teen and young adult years - it was easy for me to enjoy the chance I had to give back to him the same love and devotion. The roles were reversed but I got to spend his final years telling him how much I loved him, I was able to give him the care he needed at home where he died among his loved ones. No regrets!
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